Just got back from the AFC Talentime 2007. It was great - I enjoyed it. Tomorrow, before 7 am, I have to get up and be at some stadium (I don’t know which) and jog in the morning when I could be sleeping. I’m not a morning person - never was, probably won’t ever be. But I can’t pull out tomorrow, unless I want to be bombarded from two sides: council and netball; no, I do not want to be bombarded - I’d rather go. Jogging/walking/running non-stop for 3 km (coach’s orders) may be a killer though - 1500m almost killed, what more with double. Maybe the change of views and sceneries would help, instead of having to go around the same track and seeing no end to it.
I’m going to pretty much be on hiatus from now. Exams are very much around the corner - mock orals are in 2 days? Practicals in about a week and netball two weeks from now, followed by the 2-week long written exams. And I haven’t started studying… at all. I’m dee ae ee dee. Sigh~ Just when exams are about to start, things start getting busier again. Life gets messier.

I know what I have to do, yet I don’t do it. I thought I had everything figured out but I guess I didn’t; now that I think I do, it’s about time to get to it. 

It’s ironic really, that I always seem to regret what I do or say or what not. Or even things I don’t do/say. In short, I regret practically everything. And, I think a lot - I wished I didn’t. If only I didn’t keep thinking and keep complicating matters in my mind, everything may just be so much better. Then, after I decide on something, I change that decision soon and revert back later. I’m never decided for long. My own self is annoying me. My very self is messing up everything. It’s all me.

I’ve been thinking of blogging for the past two days - I’m finally getting myself to do it now (though, just a few minutes ago, I “almost” decided not to). Somehow the monitor screen is getting brighter and brighter, and my eyes smaller and smaller - I can possibly fall asleep anytime soon.

So.. anyways.

I’ve been sitting in front of the PC these two days especially, doing the magazine. I have completed 9 pages, 4 more to go (excluding the Council page which I realize has been put off for more than a month) - so I’d say I have though I may end up opening them and editing them.. again. I have this tendency of redoing them; I’m never satisfied with the page(s). Someone has to take the files away from me and make sure I don’t ever go back to edit them - or I’m just going to waste more limited time. It’s part of my indecisiveness. And, perfectionism. So, how do you make yourself more decisive and less of a perfectionist? Please do tell if you know or have any ideas about it. I drive people nuts when I keep changing my mind on whether I should or should not stay back after school; there’s just no reason to annoy others for such a tiny thing but I somehow still do it - I don’t know why.

So mock exams are in a month’s time or less. I haven’t studied though I should but I probably won’t until I’ve finished all the magazine “matters”. Homework’s been piling up because I keep putting them off knowing that I won’t need it till the week after. So now, I have last week’s work to complete. Physics exercises (a bit too many I’d say), Biology and Physics practicals and a bit of left-over Add. Maths. Add that to the magazine - tomorrow’s a work-ful day! Let’s all be happy and smile to that.. not. It’s a public holiday tomorrow because today is the Sultan’s birthday but being a Sunday, tomorrow replaces it as a holiday. It hasn’t been totally work-and-no-play - I have gone out shopping with parents and watching a bit of TV and oh, most importantly catching up on sleep .. though right now my eyes tell me I seem to be depriving myself yet again of it. *rubs eyes* I’m going off to sleep soon so that I can wake up earlier and finish up all the work, hopefully.

I haven’t watched Grey’s Anatomy for two weeks now, ever since my last post. Over these two weeks, there has been Pentathlon, Annual Dinner which was really fun and great, and this Scrabble Tournament organized by the Philippine Embassy in conjunction with their Independence Day celebration. Scrabble was, well, Scrabble. It went like: reach Philippine Embassy at 7.30, wait while trying hard not to fall asleep, till 8.30 for the opening ceremony and then playing 4 games of Scrabble, followed by another 2 hours or so of waiting till the award ceremony. Also it seemed different having to record the score of every single move made by you and your opponent. I hadn’t played Scrabble for years - it was somewhat fun playing it again.
Okay, I’m getting too sleepy..

I’m half-wishing things; but whatever it is, I seem to be thinking too much - my mind is constantly filled with images of all these little things. I can sense, this is going nowhere and is just going to continue until something happens - till Change comes.